'Bird dogs are not half bird': 20+ Perplexed people who had no idea they were wrong

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Feb 20, 2024 3:00 PM EST

Have you ever met someone who is blissfully unaware of seemingly everything around them? They're the type of person who floats through life with an empty head, and is often surprised when you correct them about common facts. We have a lot of love for our dumb friends, although we may have less tolerance for dimwitted coworkers. When your friend says or does something silly, it becomes an inside joke. But when a coworker acts brainless, you start wondering if they make more money than you, or if they really did graduate from college.

These people shared the funniest moments like these from their own lives. For example, one person who found themself feeling quite old when their coworker didn't know how to read an analog clock. Apparently, a lot of people can read digital clocks, but have difficulty reading the kind that hang on the wall. I guess if you don't learn that skill by the age of 3 or 5, maybe you never will. Another person shared that a coworker asked to reduce her workload from 5 days per week to 4… only to be stunned that she was now being paid less. Oh man. 

Next up, check out some design flops, like the fire pit that also turns into a side table, leaving you with an ash-covered floor every time. 

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  • 01
    1041 3 '[I] had to teach a coworker how to read an analogue clock' 10 3
    via Jon Tyson on Unsplash
  • 02
    What is the dumbest thing you explained to a coworker or classmate?
    via u/RealNumber44
  • 03
    msm2485 Explaining that miles per hour, literally means, miles per hour. We had to make a site visit, saw a sign that said 65 miles to the site, and I said something like cool, one hour left.
    via u/msm2485
  • 04
    Coworker asked how I knew that, I said well, seeing as we're traveling at 65 mph, with 65 miles left in our trip, that's about an hour give or take. She said that's not how that works, how fast you're going doesn't have anything to do with the time it takes to get there.
    via u/msm2485
  • 05
    imgonnathrowawayra I once had a girl in her early twenties - I think she was 23 - ask me to reduce her schedule by one day, down from 5 to 4. No problem, we can accommodate that.
    via u/imgonnathrowawayra
  • 06
    About a month later she complained to me that her last few checks had been about 20% smaller. I had to explain to her that working less hours meant getting paid for less hours.
    via u/imgonnathrowawayra
  • 07
    Neither-Dentist3019. That they could log into their Gmail account from any computer not just the one in their office.
    via u/Neither-Dentist3019
  • 08
    death_from-above. Had to teach a co- worker how to read an analogue clock. Made me feel sad and old all at the same time.
    via u/death_from-above
  • 09
    Successful_Ad_6537. I have a couple actually. First one. Not a coworker but a customer, I had to explain that I cannot sell something that my store does not carry, and my store did not carry said item because the item is a product of a direct competitor.
    via u/Successful_Ad_6537
  • 10
    They just can't grasp the idea that, yes, this product does exist for people to buy. However, my company does not sell it because it's the direct competitor's very own product. This other one is a coworker. I was calling work to talk to our personnel lady, asked if she was in and they said they didn't know. I had to ask if they could
    via u/Successful_Ad_6537
  • 11
    check because I needed to talk to her. They asked and come back saying "yeah, she's here." So I had to ask if I could talk to her. They say yes but don't do anything so I explain to them that for me to talk to her I need her on the phone,
    via u/Successful_Ad_6537
  • 12
    and they either need to get her over to the phone, or they needed to transfer the call to her office. I hate calling work.
    via u/Successful_Ad_6537
  • 13
    Kal_Lisk (I don't know any other way to explain this.) Him: what time is it? Me: quarter to 9 Him: hahahaha your messing with me. Me: what?
    via u/Kal_Lisk
  • 14
    Him: I know that there's not 100 minutes in an hour I had to explain fractions, time and that it's not the same time everywhere. He was at the time 28 years old.
    via u/Kal_Lisk
  • 15
    + [deleted] He thought 50% off in a product meant it costed 50 bucks less, no matter the price.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 16
    hoosierhiver I worked at a hospital and they hired a relative of a higher up to answer the phone and act as unit secretary. The guy was very likable but super spacey. We had to practice with him answering the phone and saying "Stress Care Unit, blank speaking",
    via u/hoosierhiver
  • 17
    we'd go over it and call in on another line. Every time he'd pick it up and say "Hello?" It was hilarious and unbelievable.
    via u/hoosierhiver
  • 18
    alh0425 How to use the calculator on a PC.
    via u/alh0425
  • 19
    akumamatata8080 You cannot remove an allen screw with an open end wrench. You need an allen key. Me after watching a new coworker try and do so for 45 seconds or so. I sat in shock and nudged my other coworkers to see what was happening. We all just stood there in amazement.
    via u/akumamatata8080
  • 20
    DylonNotNylon I had to take Earth Science in college to fulfill a credit requirement. One class we literally had a globe and we were (with the person next to us) supposed to find the longitude and latitude of various cities- one of which was Cape Town, South Africa. My partner-dead serious- looked at me and said:
    via u/DylonNotNylon
  • 21
    "Ugh, I can never remember which one Africa is". Not South Africa. Just Africa the continent. Like, there's only seven of these things you should be able to figure this out. tl;dr had to explain where Africa was.
    via u/DylonNotNylon
  • 22
    Patorama That everyone uses the same measurements for time and that a European tourist who spoke perfect english would know how long a half hour was. They did not, in fact, have different time in France.
    via u/Patorama
  • 23
    + [deleted] A CD will not be wiped by a metal detector. Also, if you burn a CD it will not be physically heavier than a blank CD.
    via u/ [deleted]
  • 24
    Choice_Tangelo1933. Bird dogs are not 1/2 bird.
    via u/Choice_Tangelo1933
  • 25
    SLagonia I'm a teacher who has taught everything from middle school up through college, and it would absolutely shock you how many people do not know even simple things. I've had multiple students who have sworn up and down that chicken is a vegetable, or that Canada is a state. I've
    via u/SLagonia
  • 26
    had college kids who marvel at the idea of scarcity; They just think products are made at the stores they are sold at... But by far the dumbest was a high who wrote a report on The Space Race and actually thought it was an actual race; As in,
    via u/SLagonia
  • 27
    The US and The Soviet Union just built rockets and they raced to The Moon to see who had the fastest rocket. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
    via u/SLagonia
  • 28
    BonBon_Savour300. Not exactly my classmate, but I had to explain to a guy in this school program I was in that Subway Surfers wasn't related to Subway, the sandwich shop. By extension, I also had to explain how Subway (the train) and Subway (the sandwich shop) were different.
    via u/BonBon_Savour300
  • 29
    Slytherin32 Had an employee say: so glad I'm now a senior in high school now I can get the senior discount. Me:......uuuh.. that's not how that works
    via u/Slytherin32
  • 30
    stickofd0om That it is indeed impossible to step out on a cloud from an airplane. My coworker (35 years old) had reasoned that clouds had to be solid otherwise turbulence going through clouds wouldn't be a thing.. I was flabbergasted for days
    via u/stickofd0om
  • 31
    Ysara Me (male) having twin sister means we cannot be identical.
    via u/Ysara
  • 32
    Beginning-Survey-20. I had a coworker who said she went to college in Mexico, and everyone spoke English. She went to school in New Mexico. She did not know that it was part of the United States.
    via u/Beginning-Survey-20
  • 33
    Eyfordsucks How a ratcheting wrench works. He kept detaching the tool from the bolt, rotating it, putting it back on the bolt and then turning it.
    via u/Eyfordsucks
  • 34
    He yelled at me I was just tightening and un- tightening it when I showed him how it worked. His mind was blown when I moved the tool away and the bolt was completely screwed in.
    via u/Eyfordsucks
  • 35
    TheRealOcsiban I had a coworker who worked in payroll with me. Payroll people generally understand how payroll deductions work. He thought investing in a 401k was the worst thing ever and got super mad that the company was investing like 2% of his check.
    via u/TheRealOcsiban
  • 36
    With the company match, he basically gained money despite the deduction, but somehow thought he was being robbed
    via u/TheRealOcsiban
  • 37
    I really tried to explain how 401ks worked to him, even showed him some math on how the deduction worked and how little his check actually changed, not even including the free company match He just got angrier
    via u/TheRealOcsiban
  • 38
    EdgarAllanLovecraft. My coworker had no idea who Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King were. He thought they were musicians.
    via u/EdgarAllanLovecraft
  • 39
    tahituatara That you can double- click a desktop icon to open it. This woman graduated university in the 21st century while always right-clicking and selecting "open" from the drop-down menu.
    via u/tahituatara
  • 40
    prklexy I worked at a book store in a nursing school and countless times I had to explain what a stethoscope was to the students buying
    via u/prklexy
  • 41
    Amiiboid Gravity is not a unique property of the Earth. But then there's the time I gave up attempting to explain a standard Windows file dialog to a coworker and made the trip in to the office after hours essentially to click OK because it was faster.
    via u/Amiiboid
  • 42
    stargazertony I once explained to a young coworker how a hand pencil sharpener and a staple remover worked.
    via u/stargazertony
  • 43
    whataboutbob22 I had a classmate in high school that thought Alaska was next to Hawaii because that's where it was on the map. Also that same classmate thought North was up.
    via u/whataboutbob22
  • 44
    AlrauneXI I had to explain to a coworker that people earn different hourly rates of pay.
    via u/AlrauneXI
  • 45
    dawrina I work in IT. I had a co worker who had been in the industry at least two years longer than I have. I am a port security tech, meaning I basically just reset network ports for other techs replacing computers. I had reset a port for a tech and a few minutes after finishing he calls back.
    via u/dawrina
  • 46
    "hey it still not working" I checked the connection port side and saw that it was disconnected. I let him know there was some kind of physical disconnection. There was a long pause and he finally said "Oh should I reconnect the the ethernet cable now?"
    via u/dawrina
  • 47
    I asked him what he meant and he said "I tried to log in but it said it wasn't connected to the internet" I said with the flattest affect possible, "yes. You need to plug in the ethernet cord for the internet to work."
    via u/dawrina
  • 48
    You might think he was joking around, but he was incomprehensibly stupid. He was eventually fired because he was simply unable to complete trouble tickets on his own.
    via u/dawrina
  • 49
    RetinaMelter9000s. Super bright headlights blind people. Which means they can't see. Which means they're dangerous, because they blind oncoming traffic. Also, it's like walking up to someone
    via u/RetinaMelter9000s
  • 50
    and shining a super bright flashlight in your face - you wouldn't do that, so why would you do it with your car? Some people don't seem to get it
    via u/RetinaMelter9000s
  • 51
    [deleted] I work with attorneys. I had to explain to one that his job title was of counsel, not of council. He was spelling it council in everything and it made me briefly furious that he makes 20 times my salary per year.
    via u/[deleted]

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